Poor Mojo's News Show No. 39 (64 kbps .mp3 10:00 4.6 Mb)
A daily roundup of things that seemed important.
The natural enemy of the Ford is the koala bear.
IT’S POOR MOJO’S NEWS SHOW! FOR MONDAY, JANUARY TWENTY NINTH, TWO THOUSAND AND SEVEN
A DAILY ROUNDUP OF THINGS THAT SEEMED IMPORTANT . ONWARD TO OUR RAPID-FIRE WEEKEND SUMMARY:
PORTAL OF EVIL NEWS SAYS SMOKE AND MIRRORS ARE THE UNITED STATES' RESPONSE TO GLOBAL WARMING, ACCORDING TO THE GUARDIAN: The US government wants the world's scientists to develop technology to block sunlight as a last-ditch way to halt global warming. It says research into techniques such as giant mirrors in space or reflective dust pumped into the atmosphere would be "important insurance" against rising emissions.
FROM OUR "IF VOTING CHANGED ANYTHING, THEY'D MAKE IT ILLEGAL" DEPARTMENT... AMERICAN SAMISDAT LOCATED THIS STUNNING POWER GRAB ON THE "PRESS ESCAPE" BLOG UNDER THE HEADLINE, WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING BUSH TOOK OVER THE GOVERNMENT: THE United States President stealthily took over the Federal Government last week through a new executive order that takes away all autonomy from Agencies, according to public interest organizations. THE WHITE HOUSE HAS USED Executive Order No. 12,866 to give itself the power to review regulations before they can be officially published in the Federal Register.
Joan Claybrook, president of Public Citizen SAID: “President Bush is asserting the right to change the law by executive fiat.”
THERE'S NOTHING LIKE VISIONS OF THE LETHAL INJECTION NEEDLE TO GIVE A YES-MAN PUSS-BOY SOME STARCH IN HIS SPINE. WHY DID ARI FLEISHER TALK? TALKING POINTS MEMO SAYS THAT, IN THE PERJURY TRIAL OF DICK CHENEY'S CHIEF OF STAFF SCOOTER LIBBY, It turns out THE FORMER BUSH PRESS SECRETARY will be the next witness, once court resumes Monday. The defense team wants to note—for the jury's benefit—that Fleischer demanded immunity before he would agree to testify, because this might cast Fleischer's testimony in a different light.
And here SPECIAL PROSECUTOR PATRICK Fitzgerald makes a nice little chess move: Fine, he says, we can acknowledge that Fleischer sought immunity. As long as we explain why. Turns out Fleischer saw a story in the Washington Post suggesting that anyone who revealed FORMER CIA NON-OFFICIAL COVER AGENT Valerie Plame's identity might be subject to the death penalty. And he freaked.
THIS IS POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW!
If I were you, I'd unplug YOUR computer, take out the hard drive, smash it with a rock and then throw it in the river. Now. IF YOU DON'T AND YOUR COMPUTER ISN'T SECURE, SOME PROSECUTOR COULD EAT YOU FOR LUNCH. The long, slow slide into authoritarian Hell continues unabated. We posted about 20/20's coverage of MATT BANDY, A 16-year-old kid in Phoenix who was looking at 90 years for having kiddie porn on his drive which he didn't download. HE WON'T GO TO PRISON, OR EVEN BE A REGISTERD SEX OFFENDER AFTER PLEADING OUT -- PHOENIX NEW TIMES NOW HAS the full bore, free-weekly treatment, featuring the stunned kid, the frantic parents, the crusading defense attorney sick of prosecutorial nonsense, AND the cynical careerist prosecutor who would need a dictionary to spell "justice." As for the last article we had covering this, I regret saying that the Bandy family was clueless. They just trusted Best Buy to know what it was talking about in terms of computer security. CHECK THE NEWSWIRE FOR MORE, AND ALSO WEB SITE www.justice -- THE NUMERAL 4 -- matt.com.)
ALL YOU NEED FOR THIS ITEM IS POOR MOJO'S NEWSWIRE EDITOR MOJO'S HEADLINE: Cheerleeding coach caught providing cheerleaders for her Military Recruiter boyfriend to have sex with. SAYS IT ALL, REALLY. FROM WIRE SERVICES.
JUST WHAT THE WORLD NEEDED: SOMETHING THAT CLOGS YOUR ARTERIES AS IT FRIES YOUR BRAIN. WIRE SERVICES REPORT THAT Buzz Donuts and Buzzed Bagels are the brainchild of Dr. Robert Bohannon, a molecular scientist living in Durham, NC. Dr. Bohannon has developed a way to mask the normal bitterness of caffeine so that it can be used in food and pastry products such as bagels and donuts.
THIS IS POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW!
OUR OWN MOJO WANTS TO KNOW IF THIS NEXT ITEM HERALDS THE START OF WEB 3.0: ACCORDING TO BBC NEWS, CREATORS OF ORIGINAL VIDEOS ON YOU TUBE WILL BE PAID FROM AD REVENUES FROM COMMERCIALS SHOW BEFORE EACH CLIP.
THE FEMINISTING BLOG REPORTS THAT A 65-year-old woman saveD HER husband from DEATH BY mountain lion -- Mostly by being an utter badass. Nell Hamm said she grabbed a 4-inch-diameter log and beat the animal with it, but it would not release its hold on her husband's head.
HAMM SAID HER HUSBAND, JIM, TOLD HER TO STAB THE LION IN THE EYE WITH HIS PEN.
"So I got the pen and tried to put it in his eye, but it didn't want to go in as easy as I thought it would." HAMM SAID.
When the pen bent and became useless, SHE went back to using the log. The lion eventually let go....
The US Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) has not found conclusive evidence that Iran is developing nuclear weapons, a US magazine has reported. ACCORDING TO BBC NEWS, Veteran investigative reporter Seymour Hersh, writing in The New Yorker, cites a secret CIA report based on intelligence such as satellite images.
IN SALON ON FRIDAY JOE CONASON WROTE ABOUT THE class of political operatives which once worked for Richard Nixon and which, in my opinion, forms the core of the movement to turn the United States into a fascist, authoritarian, totalitarian state. They're already well on their way, in fact. In most sane democracies, these people (JEAN MARIE Le Pen IN FRANCE, Oswald Mosely IN GREAT BRITAIN, et. al.) are marginalized. In the USA, they are wildly popular media personalities and advisors to our top leadership.
FROM CONASON'S ARTICLE: On Tuesday, Watergate felon E. Howard Hunt passed on into history at the age of 88. But even while he lay dying Hunt's spiritual heirs were orchestrating a classic Watergate-style dirty trick against both Barack Obama and Hillary Rodham Clinton. Not coincidentally, the perpetrators included certain veterans of the old Nixon gang...
Almost 40 years ago, little Barry Obama...- spent part of his childhood in Indonesia... During those years he attended an elementary school run by Muslims, long before the rise of Islamic fundamentalism, and then as an adult joined a Christian church in Chicago.
...Insight magazine... portrayed the Indonesian school as a "madrassa," suggesting the Saudi-financed institutions that allegedly train Wahhabi terrorists in Pakistan and INDICATED that Obama had been "raised Muslim" -- and then attributed these fabrications to political operatives in the Clinton camp.
Just the usual modus operandi of the noise machine -- except for that telltale twist of smearing Clinton with responsibility for the attack. Where could they have gotten that brilliant idea? Performing a dirty trick on one Democratic presidential candidate in a way that would reflect blame on another Democrat was the specialty of the Watergate crew
CONSUMERIST MAGAZINE REPORTS ON A GROUP OF PASSENGERS WHO, AFTER BEING STRANDED ON A RUNWAY FOR NINE HOURS, DRAFTED A PASSENGER'S BILL OF RIGHTS. THEY PLAN TO GET IT PASSED BY CONGRESS. ITEMS INCLUDE: Notify passengers within ten minutes of a delay of known diversions, delays and cancellations via airport overhead announcement, on aircraft announcement, and posting on airport television monitors.
Establish procedures for returning passengers to terminal gate when delays occur so that no plane sits on the tarmac for longer than three hours without connecting to a gate.
Provide for the essential needs of passengers during air- or ground-based delays of longer than 3 hours, including food, water, sanitary facilities, and access to medical attention.
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OTHER STORIES WE COVERED TODAY AT POOR MOJO'S NEWSWIRE:
Jon Stewart vs. Scott McClellan
The Daily Show on the evil that is Cheney
Webcomic Alert: "Dresden Codak" is my kind of crazy
"I just want to put a gun to the pilot's head..." The Legendary Bill Hicks in THE VIDEO "One Night Stand
Using the wii-mote to control robotic arms wielding swords
Grow Version 1: an addictive and charming monster-growing game
Men arrested for murdering women to sell as "ghost brides"
Antarctic explorers find huge bust of Lenin
Auto exhaust disrupts lung growth
Charlie Stross on the writer's life
How to put on a bra, A VIDEO
eBay de-lists all auctions for virtual goods
Raph Koster on the brutal lessons of Viva Pinata
10 Best Flickr Hacks
Tetris Vandalism
AND
A Quiz: Which Science fiction writer are you?
OUR THEME SONG IS AN UNTITLED PIECE FROM THE DISC "HIMNO NASIONAL" BY THE FIGURES, AVAILABLE AT FINGERPRINT DASH RECORDS DOT COM.
FIND US ONLINE AT P-O-O-R-M-O-J-O DOT O-R-G, AND FOLLOW THE LINK TO THE NEWSWIRE
THIS HAS BEEN POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW, I'M ALAN BENARD.
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